by Lizzy (and the Alphabet Ratties:
Darth Darby, Faryn,
Herbie, Iggy, Jasey, Kylian, Muffy-The-Vampire-Rat-Slayer
and Darth Nikki)
Author’s Note: The following is a premise for a new TV
We wish to point out that all of the characters
in this proposed new thriller, are completely fictional and
any resemblance to rats, whether living or dead, even if
exact same names, is purely coincidental!
It had been foretold... Into each generation, a Vampire Rat Slayer is born, one ratty in all
the world, a chosen one, one born with the strength and skill to fight the vampire rats,
demons, monsters and just about every other kind of nasty that can come to mind... but
Muffy, a cute little fawn dumbo, is a reluctant super hero, whose greatest desire in life is
just to be a normal young buck. All he really wants to do is hang out with the boys, do a
bit of playful wrestling, take long naps, eat yogurt drops, and meet a nice young doe.
(Dream on Muffy!) Unfortunately, he is not allowed this option, since only he can save the
world from all of the above mentioned evils. Although he's a bit on the small side, in his
own mind at least, Muffy is a fierce alpha rat. The other rats in his immediate circle, tend
to humor him on this one.
His biggest flaw as a Vampire Rat Slayer, is that, with the exception of his immediate
cagemates, er, I mean cohorts, he tends to mistake all other male rats for vampire rats! His
tendency to puff up double, attack first and ask questions later, has earned him the
nickname "Puffy Muffy".
In the pilot episode we are introduced to Muffy's loveable but bungling sidekicks, Faryn,
Jasey, Iggy, and Kylian, as well as his faithful "Watcher", a silver-black Berkshire named
Herbie. Watchers are so named because they train, and watch over their assigned Vampire
Rat Slayers, but in Herbie's case, it's because he'd rather just sit back and watch.
As our story begins, Muffy and co. are hanging out at the cemetery, as they do most nights,
waiting for evil undead Vampire Rats to awaken and crawl out of their graves. The group
has come armed with bottles of holy water, wooden crosses, and wooden stakes… but it's a
slow night and the 6 little ratties soon become bored. To pass the time, they sit around
grooming each other, foraging for food, and telling spooky rat ghost stories. Suddenly they
look up to find that
surrounded by an army of huge vicious Vampire Rats!
Pandemonium ensues when they realize that to ease his boredom, Muffy has chewed up all the
wooden crosses and stakes
the holy water... oh, oh!
Meanwhile, off in the distance, Muffy spies the infamous Sith Ratties, Lord Darby and his
Dark Apprentice Darth Nikki... Oops, wrong story! In fact, that's part of my next screen
play Revenge of the SITH Ratties!
If you enjoyed reading about Muffy, you may also enjoy
Bucky Rats Tuff
and Muffy-the-Vampire-Rat-Slayer's real story
SITH Rattery Home